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- A 21-year-old architecture student works as a sugar baby on the side.
- She said she had three sugar daddies and made about 80,000 euros last year.
- She told Insider what it’s like — from the dates and the money to the intimacy.
This as-told-to essay is an edited, translated version of an article that originally appeared on December 12, 2022, and is based on a conversation with a 21-year-old architecture student who works as a “sugar baby.” Insider has verified her identity and income with documentation. The following has been edited for length and clarity.
I got into sugar dating after an encounter on Tinder. I got a request on the dating app from a guy offering money for a sexual act, which made me realize how much money you could make.
But I was 19, and I didn’t want to go to bed with everyone. So I Googled around and came across MySugarDaddy, a platform to arrange sugar dates.
That appealed to me because I realized it’s about more than just the sexual side — you have a good time together. A few hours can pass without you touching each other.
I thought long and hard about going on my first sugar date
I was in the middle of exams and didn’t really have the time, and I was worried whether my date would respect my boundaries. I told him at the time that physical contact was fine with me but that I didn’t want it to come to penetration.
I arrived by train, and my date — I guessed he was in his mid-50s — was already waiting for me at the station. We took a cab to a large hotel in a former castle, which was quite far out. I think he paid 200 euros just for the cab ride.
At the hotel, a man with white gloves came up to us and took our luggage. I thought it was all totally surreal. One minute I was in my student accommodation, the next I was a guest in a castle.
In the evening we had dinner in a Michelin-starred restaurant, and he even hired a pianist to play for us. The next day he booked a limousine to take me home.
It was clear to me that not every date would go like that. He was mainly interested in showing me what I could get from him if I continued to meet him. After, he bought me underwear and clothes, saying that’s what I could wear on our next date.
Our relationship lasted a few months, but it eventually became too much for me, as he wanted me to travel to meet him in southern Germany a lot. It was too time-consuming, and the relationship just wasn’t appealing anymore.
I’m not dependent on the money, so I can end the relationships at any time if they no longer feel right.
I find it exciting to go on sugar dates, and I like the feeling of being desired. But to be clear, I think sugar dating is definitely sex work — I don’t want to gloss over that at all. (Editor’s note: While some people consider sugar relationships a form of sex work, some sugar-dating sites and members reject the label.)
Last year I earned between 70,000 and 80,000 euros, or about $74,000 to $85,000, as a sugar baby.
There were also some trips on top of this where I accompanied my sugar daddies on business trips or vacations. They pay for the flights, accommodation, and food, and the longer it goes on, the more money I make.
With sugar dating, pay isn’t strictly regulated. Most of the time my sugar daddies give me money of their own accord. One has created an account for me into which he deposits money, while others send me money on PayPal or give me Amazon vouchers.
At the beginning of a sugar relationship, I try to clarify exactly how much I would like. For a longer date that lasts a few hours, I ask for 500 euros. But my sugar daddies often choose to give me more.
At the moment I have three sugar daddies. One of them is pretty much exactly what you might imagine a sugar daddy to be. He’s a 50-year-old self-employed computer scientist with a normal build. I think he sees me as a way of connecting with his youth, as he talks to me a lot about his past. It’s really important to him that we have fun together, and he likes to go out partying with me.
Another sugar daddy of mine is in his early 40s, a professional athlete, and quite good-looking. I might have dated him in real life. He, like many other sugar daddies, is simply looking for a relationship substitute. He doesn’t have the time to get to know someone, but he still wants intimacy.
I want to emphasize that these relationships are not an act for me. I don’t pretend to be in love or anything like that.
I like the people I date, but I don’t love them — and they know it. But of course, sugar dating is still somewhat of an illusion.
My sugar daddies also buy me gifts — often things like underwear or clothes. I think they do that to distract themselves a bit from the fact that I wouldn’t be dating them without the money.
I can imagine being a sugar baby for a while longer, but it would probably be difficult to continue if I were to have a steady relationship myself.
I’ve also gotten used to a certain standard of living. I like to shop in organic stores and generally pay little attention to my bank balance. But I don’t go over the top with it, and I do invest some of the money; I have two stocks, ETFs, and a Riester pension.
My mom, friends, and fellow students know I’m a sugar baby
I don’t have a problem with what I do, but I’m bothered by the looks I sometimes get from people.
I realize it’s obvious what’s going on when I’m sitting in a classy restaurant with a guy in his mid-50s and I’m in high heels and a black minidress. I can see people giving me disapproving looks, and that does hurt me sometimes.
I think it’s a shame that there’s this social stigma, but I won’t let it stop me.
