Somewhere inside whatever hole they’re hiding in the days, Republican Party leaders are breathing just a tiny bit easier. Donald Trump insisted on Wednesday that he was going to make a “major announcement” on Wednesday, leading to speculation that it could be anything from announcing his 2024 running mate to an end-around attempt at becoming Speaker of the House. Any such move would be terrible news for the GOP, which at this point is just hoping Trump gets tossed in prison sooner rather than later, so he can’t keep screwing up the party’s prospects any longer.

While rattling off some possible options for what Trump’s “major announcement” might be, I quipped that it could end up being something as stupid as a book launch. Little did I know what it would end up being something so stupid, so profoundly stupid, it would make a book launch look like a “major announcement” in comparison.

That’s right, in a development left plenty of us wondering if we were dreaming or had perhaps accidentally ingested hallucinatory mushrooms, Donald Trump’s “major announcement” ended up being trading cards. No really, trading cards. With him depicted as a superhero on them. Digital trading cards, for that matter. That’s right, not only is this a cash grab, he’s too cheap to even have physical cards printed up.

I’ve spent all day pondering what to write about this story, or whether to write about it, or what the story even is. All I can come up with is that Trump isn’t even trying to pretend he’s actually running for President, is he? It’s time the media stops pretending Trump is running as well.

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