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2022 Men of the Year: Anti-Russian Dogs Max and Patron

You can’t trust people who mistreatĀ dogs.

Case in point: the cowardly members of a Russian National Guard unit who abandonedĀ Max, their team’s three-year-old Belgian malinois, when they fled the Nova Odesa district of Mykolaiv Oblast in May. UkrainianĀ forcesĀ stumbled across him after driving the gutless RussianĀ warĀ criminals from the area.

After determiningĀ MaxĀ wasĀ well-trainedĀ and in “excellent physical shape,” the Ukrainian troops inducted him into their unit.

“From now on,Ā MaxĀ will serve in our ranks, defend Ukraine and learn to bite off some Russian asses,” saidĀ Max’s new Ukrainian handler.

Unsurprisingly, the commie bastards didn’t realize how exceptional Max was. Barely a month after switching sides, he’d already learned Ukrainian commands and is learning how to sniff out Russian mines in the region. The Ukrainian military plans to have Max team up with Patron, the Ukrainian army’s most decorated bomb sniffing dog.

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A post shared by ŠŸŠ°Ń‚Ń€Š¾Š½ 🧨 (@patron_dsns)

The three-year-old Jack Russell Terrier, whoseĀ name means ammoĀ in Ukrainian, is one half of Ukraine’s premier bomb disposal duo. Along with his owner Mykhailo, Patron has sniffed out and diffused over 200 Russian bombs and landmines since the beginning of theĀ war.

While Vladimir PutinĀ shits his pants in the Kremlin, Patron travels the country, teaching children mine safety on top of his military duties. In May, Ukrainian president Volodymyr Zelensky awarded the canine the Order of Courage in a joint ceremony with Canadian prime minister Justin Trudeau. According to NPR, “Patron barked and wagged his tail enthusiastically” as he was given the award.

Patron received his recognition. Among those who save the lives of šŸ‡ŗšŸ‡¦ every day are four-legged heroes. The most famous among them is Patron, a bomb-sniffing dog. In the presence of @JustinTrudeau, @ZelenskyyUa presented him an award “For Dedicated Work in the #UAarmy“. pic.twitter.com/mssSTlfIKW

— Defense of Ukraine (@DefenceU) May 9, 2022

Like Conan, theĀ Delta Force officerĀ who helped U.S. troops kill ISIS leader Abu Bakr al-Baghdadi in 2019,Ā MaxĀ and Patron have demonstrated a bravery and commitment to freedom rarely found in man or beast.

For defending democracy with smiles on their faces, these good boys can take their places alongside Conan asĀ Washington Free BeaconĀ Men of the Year.

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