For all of its controversyāracial, financial, ethical, and moreāthe Hollywood Foreign Press Association made one smart recent decision: to hire Jerrod Carmichael as the host of the 80th Annual Golden Globes on Tuesday night. Carmichaelāa comedian, actor, writer, and filmmakerāis perhaps best known for last yearās stand-up special on HBO, Rothaniel. In it, he quickly built a tight rapport with his audience, sanding awkwardness into keen observationsāa skill he deployed again expertly at the Golden Globes.
Read about more highlights of the 2023 Golden Globe Awards here, and read Carmichaelās full remarks below:
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Welcome to the 80th annual Golden Globe Awards. I am your host, Jerrod Carmichael, and Iāll tell you why Iām here. Iām here ācause Iām Black. Iāll catch everyone in the room up. If you settle down a little bit, Iāll tell you whatās been going on. This show, the Golden Globe awards, did not air last year because the Hollywood Foreign Press Associationāwhich, I wonāt say they were a racist organizationābut they didnāt have a single Black member until George Floyd died. So do with that information what you will.
Iāll tell you how I got here. Why am I here on the stage with you guys tonight? Well, I was at home, just drinking tea, when I got a phone call from my man, Stephen Hill. Stephen Hill is a great producer, and he said, āJerrod, really, Iām honored to be making this phone call.ā He said, āIām producing the 80th Golden Globes, and it would be an honor if you would agree to join as the host.ā
I was like, āWhoa.ā One minute, youāre making mint tea at home, the next youāre invited to be the Black face of an embattled white organization. Life really comes at you fast, you know? So I said, āStephen, Iām torn. Iāll be honest with you: Iām a little torn becauseāone, itās a great opportunity; thank you for the call. But Iām only being asked to host this, I know, because Iām Black.ā
And Stephen said, āLet me stop you right there, Jerrod.ā He said, āYou are being asked to host this show because you are talented. Youāre being asked to host this show because youāre charming.ā He said, āYouāre being asked to host this show because you are one of the greatest comedians of a generation.ā
But Stephenās Black, so what does he know? Like, heās only producing this show because heās Black. Theyāre not gonna tell him why heās here either. So I said, āStephen, this is a lot for me. Let me call you back.ā
So I did what I do when I have a moral-racial dilemma: I called the homegirl, Avery. Who, for the sake of this monologue, represents every Black person in America. And I said to Avery, I said, āAvery, they asked me to host the Golden Globes.ā And I said, āWhat should I do?ā
And she said, āOoh, bookie, Iām so proud of you! Now, remind me, which award show is that again?ā And I told her what the show was, and I told her about how last year it didnāt air because of the no Black people thing. And she was like, āWell, how much are they paying you?ā And I said, āWell, Avery, itās not about the money, honestly. Itās about the moral question of whether I should allowāā And she said, āJerrod, enough of all of that. How much are they paying you?ā And I said, ā$500,000.ā And she said, āBoy, if you donāt put on a good suit and take them white people money.ā
And I kind of forget that, where Iām from, we all live by a strict ātake the moneyā mentality. I bet Black informants for the FBI in the 60s, their families were still proud of them. They were like, āYou hear about Clarenceās new job? Theyāre paying him $8 an hour just to snitch on Dr. King. Thatās a good government job.ā
And I called Stephen back and I said, āIām happy to do this.ā And I was really proud of that decision. Until I got an email from my publicist saying that Helen, the president of the Hollywood Foreign Press Association, wanted to have a one-on-one sitdown with me. And I said, āNo thanks. I know a trap when I hear a trap.ā
And I thought it went away. Then it came back. They were like, āWell, theyāre not really asking, Jerrod. They are insisting that you take the meeting.ā And Iām like, āOr what? Theyāre gonna fire me? They havenāt had a Black host in 79 years. Theyāre gonna fire the first one? Iām unfireable.ā
And it came back again, a third time. Like, āJerrod, Helen really just wants to educate you on the changes that the organization has made in regards to diversity.ā And Iāll be totally honest with everyone here tonight: I donāt really need to hear that. I took this job assuming they hadnāt changed at all. I heard they got six new Black members, congrats to them, whatever, sure.
But itās not why Iām here. Iām here, truly, because all of youāI look out into this room and I see a lot of talented people. People that I admire, people that I would like to be like, people that Iām jealous of, and people that are actually really incredible artists.
And regardless of whatever the Hollywood Foreign Press Associationās past may be, this is an evening where we get to celebrate. And I think this industry deserves evenings like these. And Iām happy you all are here, and Iām happy Iām here, and I hope you have some fun tonight.
