Day: February 4, 2023

We all know a certain “type” of person. For me, that certain “type” is one who, when they discover I’m a vegan, they start making jokes or references about a “thick, juicy steak,” or they show me disgusting pictures of slaughterhouses. For you it might be, say, when they find out you’re afraid of heights and they start talking about their recent trip to the Empire State Building. Or if you’re disgusted by burping they try to burp. Ha-ha. Get it? Me neither.

I personally find it useful, however. It saves me a lot of time. From that point forward I immediately know two things about such people. First, they’re not very bright. Second, they’re horse’s asses.

But I have to assign a unique category of jerk to a “public servant,” elected by the people, who thinks it’s funny or they think it’s sending some kind of profound message when they wear an AR-15 assault rifle lapel pin in honour of Violence Survivors’ Awareness Week. Given the endemic nature of violence and heartache caused by such weapons in the United States, there cannot be any doubt that at least some of their constituents lost loved ones because of it.

This nauseating behaviour comes to us courtesy of three House of Representatives Republican members. Of course it does. Who else but Republicans would do such a thing? It is the very quintessence of poor taste. (Attention morons of the universe: it’s now time for you to whip out your Laughing Emojis and slap them on this article.)

Who were the three members of Congress who did this? George Santos (the same guy who falsely claimed he lost friends in the Las Vegas shooting), Anna Paulina Luna (R-FL), and Andrew Clyde (R-GA). Those three were caught on camera with the pins.

By the way, certain smug members of the ammosexual public are fond of tweaking the noses of people who think that the AR in AR-15 stands for “Assault Rifle.” They insist that if you don’t know what it really stands for then you have no right to complain about it, rather like if you don’t know the model of the car running you over you have no right to complain about that. So I’ll save you the embarrassment and I’ll tell you what it stands for, brothers and sisters. It stands for Absolutely Repulsive.

As in, their behaviour is Absolutely Repulsive. And if you don’t agree then so are you. And yes, disgust at this kind of behaviour is what Republicans sometimes refer to as “woke.” Woke means being sensitive to people who’ve suffered devastating loss or hardship. The idea is you’re supposed to be weak if you’re woke, if you care about horrors people have had to endure, such as loss of loved ones or devastating illness or cataclysmic economic hardship.

By the way, one AR-15 pin wearing member idiot, Congresswoman Luna, also participated in a House Natural Resources panel debate to push back on Democrats’ attempt to ban firearms inside the Committee’s hearing room. That’s right, she wants members of Congress to start packing guns. Inside Congress.

She later tweeted: “The same Democrats who are voting to send firearms to Ukraine are telling me I can’t carry one.” Yeah, that’s pretty much it, Congresswoman. I mean, after all, nothing quite sends chills down the spine of an opposition member when they know you’re packing heat. That’s just like defending your home from Russian aggression. Got it.

I think California state Senator Dave Min said it best. He said, “The debate over 2A [the Second Amendment] has never been about 2A. It’s about ‘disrupting’ civilized society as we know it, and trolling the ordinary Americans concerned about our insane levels of gun violence. That’s why it’s the biggest assholes who are most loudly touting irresponsible gun access.”

While all these idiots weep about their rights and demand the right to carry these monstrous weapons of murder, what about the rest of us? What about those of us who would like, for once, to enjoy the right NOT to bear arms. What about those of us whose quality of life would be immeasurably improved if we didn’t know the lunatic next to us with the hair-trigger temper had a hair-trigger gun? What about our rights?

I don’t have to worry about that any more. I live in England. But I used to live in the United States, and I am full of empathy for those of you who have to live in a society where it’s very worst and dumbest and most violent citizens walk around with lethal weapons strapped to their sides. I think it’s hideous and I feel your pain. I think it should stop.

There are 8 million stories in the naked city of Republican asinine behaviour. This has been one of them. And, as ever, ladies and gentlemen, brothers and sisters, comrades and friends, stay safe.

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